A writer is only half responsible for what he writes. I speak from experience. Once I have given my characters their names, they begin to take over. Their personalities emerge so that when I find them kissing or moving on to more serious acts, there is little I can do without stepping away, without taking my fingers off the keyboard. When I try to take charge, the story becomes stilted.
So, in an effort to placate my people and at the same time my readers, I now put an asterisk on stories that become 'hot' in order to give fair warning of passion.
Perhaps, if my people knew we were reading about them, they might be a little more discreet but somehow, in a moment of passion, I doubt that they would give a damn!